Marvelous Misadventures
by GlassSuicune
Summary: After coming to a train station at a ridiculous hour, Spider-Man and various other heroes including one villain catch a train to a place where anything goes, and anything can happen. One thing is certain: This'll be one adventure they'll never forget!
1. It All Started at a Train Station

Marvelous Misadventures by GlassSuicune

Note: I do not own any of the characters in here, Marvel does. The 'special' guest-stars in here belong to DC Comics. I also don't own any other trademarks contained herein. OOC warning! If you don't like characters being Out-Of-Character, then I really don't recommend reading this. Now...

"This" is speech.

_'This' _is thought

_This _is memory lane -when indicated, and emphasis -during speech.

Chapter 1: It All Started at a Train Station...

Spider-Man was sitting alone on a bench, waiting for the train to come. Where he was going to go remains a mystery, though experts say somewhere far, far away... No one was present in the station, it was around two in the morning anyway. Who in their right mind would be up that late?

All of a sudden, footsteps were heard and the Fantastic Four came into view -Mr. Fantastic dressed as the Cupid, the Invisible Woman dressed as a Leprechaun and carrying a pot full of Twix bars, the Thing dressed as the Easter Bunny with an Easter egg basket and a ticked off look on his face, and the Human Torch dressed in a zombie outfit and with a Jack-o-lantern on his head.

_'Um, I think four crazies would be up this late,' _Spider-Man thought grimly, now dreading the rest of the wait.

The four who looked like they A: Were going to a costume party, or B: Didn't check the calender to find out it isn't October sat in nearby benches, leaving Spider-Man alone on the bench he had been on since the story started. Mr. Fantastic busied himself with figuring out the logic behind Cupid's arrow ( good luck with that!), the Invisible Woman was obviously dead-set on eating all the Twix bars, and the Thing was trying to get the Human Torch to stop bonking him on the head with a plastic bone that came with the zombie costume.

Finally, Spider-Man broke the silence, "Um, aren't you guys a little early for Halloween? But if it's any constellation, I think I saw a 'Freak Show' not far back." The four 'special' mutants immediately turned to him, as if they had just noticed his existence. "Oh, we made a dare with Dr. Doom," Mr. Fantastic explained, as if he had just said his entire purpose in life, "It's a test to see who doesn't go crazy until tomorrow."

"Dr. Doom's dressed as Santa Claus." the Human Torch snickered, having finally left the Thing alone. "Last I heard he got the Fire Department to drive him around." the Invisible Woman added, before she bit into a Twix bar. Spider-Man's left eye twitched. "I'll believe it when I see it." he said bluntly.

Christmas music and a fire siren could be heard outside the train station. Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four immediately ran outside and saw a fire truck drive by with Dr. Doom standing on top of it, all-the-while dressed as ole St. Nick. He noticed Mr. Fantastic and Company and almost instantly went berserk, screaming the words DOOMSDAY DEVICE and SPATULA in the same sentence.

Spider-Man watched the fire truck drive off in horror. "Looks like Victor's really got the Christmas spirit." the Thing said sarcastically. "Looks like he loses the dare." Mr. Fantastic added.

"You think?"

"Ah, I don't think. I know."

"All I know is I'm going to need aspirin..." Spider-Man groaned. The Invisible Woman pulled out a Twix bar and handed it to him as a 'peace offering'. Then she and her friends walked back to their benches.

All of a sudden, thunder was heard booming outside and lightning flashed right near the train station soon after. Then rainclouds appeared inside the station, soaking everyone to the bone. The Human Torch screamed in terror and hid under the bench, hoping he wouldn't get wet. The Thing snickered.

Then, a horrible screeching noise was heard, and everyone -even the Thing- covered their ears. Then Storm entered the waiting area, and her eyes glowed indicating she was making the storm. "I'm _SINGING_ in a train _STATION_!!! And it's _RAINING_!!!" she sang in the most shrill voice the earth has ever heard.

Finally, the Invisible Woman couldn't take it anymore and she pulled a large hammer out of nowhere ( if you've ever watched anime, you probably know where this is going). She jumped at Storm and thwacked her with the hammer, knocking her out cold, ending the rain and the terrible, horrible, off-key singing.

Jean and Scott ran into the station and hugged the 'heroine'. "You're a wonderful person..." they both whimpered. Magneto then walked in, carrying some Crayola pencils and a sketch pad whose current page showed a wolverine getting electrocuted. Scott noticed the picture and shouted to Magneto, "You're a wonderful person too!" Magneto's eyes widened and he screamed, "What?! B-but I'm a baddie!"

Spider-Man sank deeper into his bench, his currently hidden pupils shrinking.

Magneto sat beside Spider-Man and began doodling on his sketch pad, with a look of determination only a three-year-old who just discovered crayons would have. _'Great, an old mutant who obviously has nothing better to do then draw and colour is sitting next to me...' _Spider-Man thought, then he noticed Magneto's drawing ( he draws and colours fast for an old man!). It showed a red and blue spider being squashed by some metal object.

Spider-Man glared at Magneto and said, "You're on my list... And 'The List' is _not _somewhere you want to be!" Magneto looked up from his drawing and made eye contact with Spider-Man. "Oh, I'm terrified, shaken to my very core!" he said in mock fear. He then returned to his drawing, this one showing a man on fire being sprayed by a fire hose.

Suddenly, Mr. Fantastic spoke up, "Susan and I saw Wolverine at a Wal-Mart today!" The Invisible Woman nodded and began eating another Twix bar. The Human Torch then said, "I saw him too! He stole a bike." Suddenly, the three 'special' mutants found Scott staring at them. "That was _my _bike!" he growled.

Wouldn't you know it, the subject of the conversation walked into the station. Scott immediately ran up to him. "Okay Logan, where's my bike?!" he demanded. Wolverine wiped a fake tear from his eye and led Scott outside. Then, everyone could hear Scott scream, "You crashed it into the Firestone across the street?!"

"Just relax. The mechanics will fix it." Wolverine assured. Magneto handed Spider-Man his sketch pad which now showed a gravestone that read, 'Rest in Peace: Scott's Motorcycle'. Spider-Man looked at him with a mean expression. "Do you want me to un-twist your brain?" he asked. The old mutant then felt his head for awhile. "No, that isn't necessary. It's all good." he replied. He then swiped his sketch pad, "MINE!"

Thumping was heard and Iron Man blasted the doors open. Storm had woken up and ran towards him, screaming, "How could you?! They were just doors, man! DOORS! With their whole lives ahead of them!" Iron Man stared at her with no emotion, but beneath the metal mask Tony Stark was dumb struck.

Iron Man looked around the station frantically, and Spider-Man could tell he was looking for intelligent life. Spider-Man pulled out a sign that said, 'If you value your sanity, you'll hide over there' and had a hand pointing in the direction of the ticket booth. Iron Man got the message, bonked Storm on the head, and walked over there out of sight.

Spider-Man then looked upward, glaring at the authoress coldly. He then said very, very slowly, "I...despise...you...with...a...passion...bordering...obsession..." All of a sudden, spider-shaped tart candy fell on him. "I like you too!" the humanoid Suicune squealed with glee. Magneto tried to show Spider-Man another picture, but the young 'special' mutant pushed the sketch pad away.

"I am tired of you showing me your art!" Spider-Man yelled. Magneto then said, "Oh come on! I think you'll like this picture. Please have a looksie." The picture showed a blue, kirin-like Pokemon -Suicune- caught up in a spider-web with a red and blue spider closing in on it. Spider-Man chuckled and said, "That's nice. Now do me a favour and stop showing off your sick art." Magneto looked disheartened, then a light-bulb literally appeared above his head and he started drawing furiously.

Iron Man took a peek out of the ticket booth. Jean, Scott, and Storm were playing an old-fashioned game of 'Monkey in the Middle' with the station's clock -Jean had ripped it out. Wolverine was off in a corner somewhere, smoking a cheap cigar -which Iron Man promptly blasted. "This is a story for kids Logan!" he snapped. Then he went back into the safety of the ticket booth, muttering, "When I flew here, I thought had come to a train station, not an insane asylum!"

Batman then appeared out of nowhere. "Did someone say asylum?" he asked rather grimly. Iron Man glared at him and began charging the rays on his metallic hands. "This is a Marvel story! No DC Comics characters allowed!" he yelled. Batman got the message and said to Bat-Girl and Robin, "I think we took the wrong dimensional portal!" Then all three left.

Once they were gone, the train finally came. Believe it or not, the wait was two whole hours and don't ask me how that's possible. The conductor -which happened to be a humanoid Suicune- stood in the doorway. "All aboard the train to Nowhere!" she cried, "If you are a freak, misfit, all-around loser, or all of the above, this is the train for you!"

Magneto was the first to pull out his ticket, beating the Human Torch by a millisecond. "Do I count as all of the above?" the old mutant asked grimly. "Of course you do, sweetie!" the Suicune answered. The villain sighed and ended up being run over by Wolverine, Scott, Jean, and Storm -the latter dancing around in dizzying motions.

And that was when Magneto realized the horrible truth about fanfiction: If the author/authoress dislikes you, he/she will make your life as miserable as possible.

The Suicune punched the five tickets given to her, handing the first to Magneto, who was singing softly, "Gloom, despair, and agony on me..." Storm looked at the holes in her ticket and glared at the conductor. "How could you?! It was an innocent little ticket! What did it do to deserve such inhumane treatment?!" she shrieked.

Ignoring her tantrum, Wolverine and Company promptly shoved Storm into the train. Magneto got up and weakly walked into it as well. Spider-Man gave the conductor his ticket and glared at her. "You're the authoress, aren't you?" he asked. The conductor smiled. "Sure am, hon! Glass at your service!" she replied, giving Spider-Man his ticket back. He walked in, keeping an eye on the crazy person.

It was the Fantastic Four's turn. Glass smiled. "Y'know, I could make a joke about 'Fashion 101', but that would be too easy." she said bluntly, receiving not-so-friendly expressions. The Human Torch -who had moved out of Wolverine and Company's 'Path of Destruction'- gave Glass his ticket. Once it was punched and returned, Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman came up. Then the Thing soon after. "Make one joke about the bunny ears and it'll be clobbering time." he threatened.

Iron Man immediately flew over to the train. "Make it quick, okay?" he said as Glass punched his ticket and handed it back. He walked in and noticed Wolverine and Company in a fight with the Fantastic Four, complete with insults. Actually, he couldn't really see them, as they were in a cloud of dust with the occasional WAM, BLAM, and KAPOW appearing in colour ( to those who've watched 'Looney Tunes' or some of the newer 'Tom and Jerry' cartoons, you probably get this).

For some reason, Spider-Man, Iron Man, and even Wolverine and the Thing weren't very enthusiastic about the trip.

Glass came in and started the train, right as some more people came into the station: Rogue, Bobby, Kitty, Xavier, and War Machine. "Did we miss the train to Nowhere?" Kitty asked. "It appears so." Xavier answered. After processing this information, Rogue, Bobby, and Kitty started doing the victory dance. Like Iron Man before him, War Machine watched no emotion, but beneath the metal masks Rhodey was dumb struck.

Note: There's Chapter 1. I know, this is incredibly stupid, but what did you expect? I am GlassSuicune, the Insane Authoress, after all. ( looks to the left and the right) ...COOKIES!!!


	2. Land of the Lost

Note: I own nothing from Marvel. I also don't own any other trademarks contained herein. I guess I kinda own Mr. World Domination.

Chapter 2: Land of the Lost.

"Okay everyone, while we wait, why not share our reasons for why we've come on this train to Nowhere?" Spider-Man announced, hoping to make conversation, "I'll go first. My reason is to get away from crazy people," Spider-Man then added under his breath, "And I failed miserably..." Iron Man raised his metallic hand. "Go ahead." Spider-Man prompted.

"I'm bored," Iron Man said bluntly, "I figured maybe if I spent more time alone I wouldn't have to blow up so much stuff." Spider-Man could tell Tony was wearing a crooked grin. This wasn't his real reason apparently, as the authoress is too lazy to come up with a good reason. Moving on to the Fantastic Four, who raised their hands at the same time.

"We were told we need to get out more often." Mr. Fantastic explained. "I wonder why we would be told we had to leave, though?" the Invisible Woman questioned. "Yeah, our attire _can't _have _anything _to do with it." said the Thing rather sarcastically. The Human Torch, who had caught Ben's tone, immediately asked, "What's wrong with wearing a Jack-o-lantern in public?"

Now we turn to Scott, Jean, and Storm. "We're on vacation!" Storm squealed. Jean then said, "Sorta, yeah." Scott simply nodded and pulled out some aspirin. Wolverine raised his hand and said, "And I came to keep an eye on them," he looked at Storm, "Especially _that_ weirdo." Storm giggled, as is if she didn't realize she was just insulted.

Everyone looked at Magneto expectantly. He looked up from his drawing -which showed an invisible feminine figure trapped in the Molasses Swamp from 'Candy Land'- and locked eyes with Wolverine. "What do you want?" he asked. "We want to know your reasons for coming aboard this train," Wolverine answered, releasing his claws, "Now answer... or face the consequences."

Magneto frowned and said, "That is only for me to know." Wolverine just glared at him. "Let me go out on a limb and guess you got fired." he said, retracting his claws. Magneto sighed and said, "Do you know what Mr. World Domination does to villains who fail at their evil plans?" Wolverine could tell this would be interesting, so he replied, "No. Enlighten me."

"Well, first he ties you to a wall so you can't get away. And in this room you're stuck in, unicorns -pink unicorns, mind you- cover the walls. And then he turns on this 'Hello Kitty' TV and forces you to withstand the horror that is 'My Little Pony'!"

Everyone just stared at Magneto. _'And all this time I thought he was naturally insane...' _thought Wolverine. "I wonder what he does to the female villains..." Jean thought aloud. "Mystique told me the walls are covered with SpongeBob SquarePants characters, the TV apparently is of the same theme, and that Cartoon Network is what Mr. Domination turns on." Magneto answered, receiving more weirded out looks.

That having been said, Magneto returned to his sketch pad, as if nothing even happened. His new drawing showed a man in a metal suit staring down King Arthur. Everyone decided it would probably be wise to leave him alone -even Wolverine. Spider-Man instantly regretted ever starting this conversation.

There are just some things in this world that are best left unknown.

Suddenly, Glass poked her head out of the control room for the train. "Buckle up everyone! I'm about to put this baby into hyperspace!" she cried gleefully. Everyone exchanged looks with each other and screamed, "HYPERSPACE?"

"Glad to see you're all so enthusiastic!"

With that, the Suicune ran back into the control room. Scott immediately clutched his head. "Something tells this is _not _going to be good for my head..." he groaned, as he buckled himself in ( if trains don't have seat-buckles, don't bother telling me. This story is supposed to make zero sense).

Once everyone was buckled in, Glass screamed, "Asta la vista, baby!" and pulled the lever back. The train then entered hyperspace in a similar fashion to the ships on Star Trek. Everyone was pushed against their seats by the sheer force. Iron Man -the only one untouched by this force- noticed Storm had somehow buckled herself in upside down. She had the goofiest grin on her face.

Once the train left hyperspace, everyone had to relocate -ahem- anything that went missing. Magneto had to recover his sketch pad and Crayola pencils -the latter having been scattered across the train, Scott was missing his headache medicine, Wolverine swore a piece of one of his claws was missing ( oh my gosh!), and Storm was on a mission to find her marbles ( oh my gosh again!).

"I think I lost my brain." the Human Torch blurted out. The Thing looked at him and said, "I didn't know you _had _a brain." All of a sudden, a brain landed right in front of the Human Torch. Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman started screaming hysterically. "Never mind. I found it." said the Human Torch, grabbing his brain and putting it back in his head.

Glass stepped out of the control room and opened the sliding door. "Here we are! Nowhere!" she cried gleefully, "Now, grab all your belongings and GET OUT!" Magneto immediately dove for the exit to the train, hoping he wouldn't get caught in Wolverine and Company's next 'Path of Destruction'.

The old man is a wishful thinker.

Iron Man walked up to where the poor mutant now lay. Taking a tiny amount of pity on him, Iron Man grabbed Magneto and threw him out of the train screaming ( what? I did say it was a tiny amount of pity). Iron Man then walked out himself. The Fantastic Four followed soon after, with the Invisible Woman looking like she was about to toss all those Twix bars she had eaten.

Spider-Man was the last to leave, mostly because he partially hoped Glass would forget his existence and drive the train back to the station, thus freeing him from this nightmare. But it was not to be, as Glass was well aware of his existence and told him to get out or she'll call an exterminator. She disliked spiders with a passion, it seemed.

Once everyone was out, Glass gave them all supplies backpacks. "Now, please enjoy your stay here the next few days, we are not responsible for any injuries, and batteries are not included!" Glass said really fast, but slowly enough so you could understand her -if only a little. With that, she hopped back into the train and was gone.

"I wonder what Nowhere looks like?" Scott thought aloud, as everyone soaked in their surroundings. Nowhere was a desert, that much could be said. But its sand was gray, the plants were all orange, planets could be seen clearly with the naked eye among the starry sky, and large blue jellyfish swam around in the atmosphere.

"Just when I thought I had seen everything..." the Human Torch muttered. "Well, something tells me we're gonna see a lot more..." the Invisible Woman grimaced. Scott decided to ask Wolverine something that had been on his mind since they got on the train, "How long will it take for my bike to be repaired?"

Wolverine paled considerably and said, "Um, well..." Noticing Scott was about to blast him, he hid behind Jean. "The mechanics are having trouble getting the parts!" Wolverine cried. Scott started screaming like a maniac. "Why do you do this to me? Why?" he cried.

"It's not my fault that it crashed!"

"Then why did it crash?"

Wolverine then glared at Magneto, who gave an innocent grin ( and for those who aren't in the know, that means the person's guilty). "I blame you." Wolverine said bluntly. "Did you see me mess with the bike? No, I was in the train station the whole time!" Magneto cried in his defense.

"Well, bikes don't just swerve to the right and crash into a Firestone within three seconds."

Magneto went back to his sketch pad, knowing fairly well if he made another reply World War III would most likely start. Wolverine grunted and walked away. Scott, on the other hand, decided to tackle the old mutant and beat the living daylights out of him. "WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME?" Scott screamed to high Heaven, crushing Magneto's futile attempts to escape his grasp.

Spider-Man sincerely wished he had not taken Venom's advice on going on the train to Nowhere.

"Well, let's not dwell on the past. We've got the present to deal with, and a future to write." Spider-Man stated simply, sounding like a professor on a cliché sci-fi flick. Mr. Fantastic stared blankly at the sky. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say it's about to rain gum-balls." he blurted out. All of a sudden, it started raining gum-balls.

The Human Torch pulled out an umbrella and said, "This is spooky..." Everyone looked at him, not getting the reference. The Invisible Woman's mouth twitched. "Why couldn't it rain chocolate muffins?" she complained. All of a sudden, it started raining chocolate muffins. "Yay!" she cried.

Spider-Man backed away slowly. Iron Man did the same, and Jarvis could be heard saying, "Sir, I'm detecting a dangerous amount of insanity in the atmosphere. I suggest caution in this area." Tony obviously rolled his eyes and said, "Noted."

"Um, let's just get moving." said Spider-Man, walking away. Iron Man followed him. The Fantastic Four and the X-Men plus Magneto decided to stop being weird and followed as well. After an hour of walking in circles, they came across three passage ways. None of them looked very inviting but I assure you, none of them contain Godzilla.

After careful consideration, Spider-Man and Iron Man immediately bolted down the middle passage covered in Egyptian writing, praying the crazies wouldn't follow them. The Fantastic Four decided the right passage way adorned with candy canes and alligators looked welcoming and ran down it.

Magneto noticed what just happened and realized the people he was stuck with. Gulping, he turned around and saw Wolverine sharpening his claws, Jean slamming her fist into the palm of her other hand, Scott raising his hand above his visor, and Storm mistakingly 'watering' some plants with a blowtorch. Magneto smiled innocently and said, "Um... Nice weather we're having, isn't it?"

The group then noticed the passage way they were stuck with. It was the left one, and it was covered in...WHAT IN BANANAVILLE IS THAT GREEN OOZE? "Sure, it's not pretty, but we gotta go with what we can get." Wolverine stated bluntly, walking in first. Storm followed right behind him, while Jean and Scott walked in keeping an eye on Magneto ( who didn't look very happy).

If you guys haven't figured it out yet, Nowhere is like the Land of the Lost, only you're gonna find out it's much, much worse.

Note: And cut! There's Chapter 2. Love it? Hate it? Tell me! COOKIES!


	3. Indians, Ice Cream Trucks, and Parties

Note: I own nothing from Marvel. I do not own any other trademarks contained herein. I do, however, own the 'Oh sweet pineapples' phrase and its 'sugary' variation. I also think it would be wise to tell you that this story is written anime-style, so you need to bear that in mind to understand some of the jokes in this chapter and beyond.

Chapter 3: Indians, Ice Cream Trucks, and Candy Parties.

"We're lost...lost...lost...LOST!" Storm cried to high Heaven. Almost immediately, her eyes watered and then waterfalls of tears flowed out, soaking everyone to the bone. Magneto grumbled and pulled an umbrella out of nowhere ( and here you thought only the females carried random things with them!).

Jean sat down on a nearby blue rock and dug into her supplies pack, hoping Glass had the decency to give them a map. Scott and Wolverine busied themselves trying to calm Storm down. Magneto looked at her and said bluntly, "Keep that up and Charles will be looking for a new professor." Storm screamed hysterically. "Erik, you're really not helping right now..." Scott growled.

"Good. Wasn't trying to."

The five mutants stopped everything they were doing when they heard what they assumed were battle cries not far away. Almost immediately, they were surrounded by blue-skinned people on horses, who were pointing arrows at them as well as tomahawks. Magneto observed the group carefully, then realization hit him. "Oh sweet pineapples!" he cried, "They're Indians!"

The Indian Chief dismounted his horse and walked up to the mutants. "Who is leader of this sorry bunch?" he asked. Scott was about to step forward, but Wolverine knocked him down. "I am." he answered, keeping Scott down. Processing this information, the Chief turned to the rest of the Indians. He then started talking to them in their own language.

"What's going on?" Jean asked. "I think they're discussing what to do with us..." Magneto answered. Jean looked at him and realized he just may be right ( for once). After a few minutes, the Chief turned to Wolverine. "You have desecrated the Sacred Grounds of the Great Sparrow," he explained, "And for that, you shall PAY!"

"I'll pay! I'll pay!" Storm cried, pulling out a quarter, "How about twenty-five cents?" Magneto shook his head and his skin turned pale. "He doesn't mean that kind of pay, Ororo..." he grimaced. Within seconds, the angry group of Indians overtook the mutants and hauled them off to their village.

Now, let's just leave them hanging there for awhile. There's other people I gotta mess with.

Iron Man scanned the area, while Spider-Man watched him wondering if he would've been better off if he hadn't even gone on the train to Nowhere again. Eventually he'll learn he cannot dwell on what-ifs much longer and that he must embrace the reality before him, no matter how horrifyingly strange it is.

The beeping noises made by Jarvis pinpointing things of interest suddenly stopped and Iron Man said in his amplified voice, "We appear to be in the realm of King Arthur. How nice..." Spider-Man nodded and said, "Well, standing's certainly not getting us anywhere..."

"You're anxious to get out of here, aren't you?"

"As a matter of fact, YES!"

"Oh c'mon Peter! Just relax and have fun!"

"Tony, we have been dumped in some crazy place for crazy people by a crazy Suicune! AND YOU EXPECT ME TO RELAX AND HAVE FUN?"

Iron Man and Spider-Man said nothing else as the sounds of hoof-beats, arrows flying, swords clashing with shields, and an ice cream truck could be heard. Spider-Man shot out a web and flew to where the sounds were and Iron Man promptly followed. What they saw was quite a sight to behold, my dear readers.

Iron Man and Spider-Man watched in horror as King Arthur and his knights overtook the ice cream truck and knocked it onto its side. As the knights swarmed the truck, a very frightened Hank McCoy jumped out of it and ran for the hills. Iron Man and Spider-Man stood there dumb struck.

"What in Bananaville is Beast doing here?" Spider-Man asked. "My guess is driving an ice cream truck." Iron Man answered bluntly.

"You are no help at all, Merchant of Death."

"Call me that one more time and I'll blast you."

Spider-Man remained silent. Tony grinned smugly. They then saw King Arthur and his knights investigate the ice cream truck. King Arthur himself pulled out an ice cream sandwich and cried, "What kind of magic is this?" The knights seemed to agree.

One knight was holding an ice cream cone and decided to take a bite out of it just for the living heck of it. His eyes widened and he cried, "Your Highness! You must try this!" King Arthur took a bite out of the ice cream sandwich and cried, "Whoever made this must be a wizard!" Soon, all the knights were eating an ice cream treat.

Iron Man and Spider-Man looked at each other. "Now do you understand my haste, o' great Tony Stark?" Spider-Man said with a ton of venom in his voice ( makes sense, as he is part spider...). Iron Man made an attempt to shake his head. "Nah, o' cynical Peter Parker," he said in a playful tone, "Something tells me this'll be kinda interesting."

Okay, I'm bored with these two! On with the Fantastic Four!

Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman looked at their surroundings. Within seconds, they both ran around screaming, "Oh sugary sweet pineapples and chocolatey muffins! We're in Candy Land!" The Human Torch and the Thing were both weirded out by this new information and the fashion in which it was delivered. But with information like this, who would expect it to be sanely delivered?

All of a sudden, a stack of cards landed in front of the group. The group stood there staring blankly, wondering what in Bananaville they were supposed to do. The Invisible Woman grabbed a card, looked at it, and said, "Oh lookie. I get to cross the Rainbow Bridge thingamajig." With that, she began walking on the board, and sounds from 'Mario Party' could be heard each step she took. She crossed the bridge and was gone.

The Human Torch grabbed a card and said, "I get to move one space." The Thing looked at him and sang, "One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do..."

"Can it, Ben."

"Yeah right."

The Human Torch stuck his tongue out at the Thing and then proceeded to take his one step on the board, generating more 'Mario Party' sounds. The Thing grabbed a card and said, "I get to move six spaces." He walked, waved at the Human Torch, was hit with a gingerbread cookie courtesy of the Invisible Woman, and made it to the space he would be stuck on until it was his turn again.

Mr. Fantastic grabbed his card and said, "Johnny, move over. You're gonna have some company." With that, he walked his one space. The Human Torch pulled a bottle of beer out of nowhere. "You want one?" he asked. All of a sudden, Iron Man appeared out of a large Plot Hole and blasted the bottle, screaming, "This is a story for kids, Johnny!" He then disappeared back into the darkness from whence he came.

All of a sudden, a blue die with a mouth, eyes, and four limbs appeared above the Fantastic Four. "Mini-game time!" he cried gleefully. "Aren't you from 'Mario Party 3'?" the Invisible Woman asked.

"Yes, I am!"

"You do realize this is Candy Land, right?"

"Actually, you're quite mistaken. Didn't ya hear, the authoress has taken Candy Land and Mario Party and combined them! Welcome to Candy Party!"

Without another word, the die pulled out some kind of screen and weird noises could be heard from it. "The mini-game for this turn is..." he started, "Dust Buddies!" The Thing looked skeptical. "Dust Buddies? What the heck is that?" he asked. "You run away from a vacuum cleaner in terror," the Human Torch explained, "Whoever's left un-sucked-in by the time it ends wins the game."

The board suddenly morphed into the area the mini-game would take place in. The Fantastic Four stood there for awhile and then ran for the hills as a vacuum cleaner came their way. "Avoid the ribbons and buttons at all costs!" Mr. Fantastic cried. "You'll never take me alive, vile vacuum!" the Human Torch screamed.

The Thing tripped on a blue button and was promptly sucked up into the vacuum. "BEN!" the Human Torch screamed in an over-dramatic voice. "I'm...not...fast...enough!" Mr. Fantastic panted. "Just pretend there's a Twix bar in front of you!" the Invisible Woman cried from way in front, "That's what I'm doing!"

Mr. Fantastic soon realized he was running on a ribbon -and was sucked up along with it. "Nooooooooo!" the Human Torch cried, "We lost Reed!" He was promptly sucked up into the vacuum and a whistle was blown, ending the mini-game. The die appeared and cried, "And the winner of this mini-game is... The Invisible Woman!" A bunch of coins then flattened the poor woman.

After that was over and done with, the board morphed back into Candy Land. Afterwards, a domino-effect occurred. Mr. Fantastic crashed on the Candy Cane Ski Slopes, the Thing was chased away by Gramma Nutt, the Human Torch was attacked by Godzilla in the Lollipop Forest, and as for the mini-games... Mr. Fantastic won the underwater treasure-hunting one, but blew up his ship in the process, the Human Torch successfully made a Bom-Omb explode on the Thing, the Invisible Woman managed to steal everyone's coins in Grab Bag, among other things.

And now, the Invisible Woman was stuck in the Molasses Swamp.

"Someone get a rope!" Mr. Fantastic cried, "Licorice should be strong enough!" The Invisible Woman was busy flailing about in the molasses ( which is amazing, considering how thick and sticky the stuff is). "Help me!" she yelled, her head falling under the molasses for a moment. She promptly popped her head back up, completely covered in the sweet stuff, and her expression turned very sour. After a few seconds of staring at the molasses with a 'If looks could kill' expression, she said these very important words:

"I swallowed a gosh darn lollipop. Whole."

Note: There ya have it! I wanted to do more with the Fantastic Four, but my knowledge of Candy Land wasn't very good, so I had to strain my memory to write this... It's been so long since I played the darn thing, and I don't even have it anymore, so yeah. Also, I did find out that they changed the Molasses Swamp to Chocolate Swamp, because 'Children might not know what molasses is'...

RAGE RAGE RAGE.

Why must my childhood memories be trashed like this?


End file.
